文章开头先介绍下本文的小编
Charlie方老师
↓↓↓
一位致力帮助同学们跟托福快狠准
和平分手的写作老师
提分率90%+
大部分学生首考写作24以上，其中亦有首考28
擅长给20-22的学生提到26-27分
24左右的学生提到28-30分
我们从语言、结构、辩证三大方面
评析为什么该文能拿26分。
Whether people should take advice from older friends or friends at the same age has sparked a fierce debate among my peers recently. Whereas some argue that suggestions from older people are outdated and young people can better understand their friends at of the same age, some others immediately refute that young children who have weak critical thinking ability can get better suggestions from older friends than from playmates. Both parties have put forward valuable arguments. To a large extent, I ally myself with the first view, though I do not entirely depreciate the second view.
10min
WXY 同学的开头段没有什么大问题，接近完美。但是大家注意看哟，WXY同学开头段写完十分钟已经过去了。能考28的学生一般开头段也是同样的语言辩证质量，但是他们只需要五到六分钟就能把开头段写完。
First of all, the widespread use of the Internet makes gives people have access toexplosive an overwhelmingly large amount of information and suggestions from older friends sometimes are outdated and not suitable for new situations. Take for example myself, who gets valuable advice from classmates when selecting university and major. In the beginning, my elder friend, a professional worker advised,recommended to me some programs according to her experience of selecting university. However, some of those programs either experienced teaching quality thedecline of teaching quality in recent those years or some have been stopped admitting undergraduate students. One In comparison, one of my friends in my classwho was good at searching information in on the Internet summarized those materials and gave her opinions. Although my friend also had no experience in selecting university, she provided me with some new perspectives and suggestions. As it turned out, I followed the advice from my friend at the same age and was really satisfied with my major and university. This example is far from atypical: many people find suggestions from friends at the same age are more up-to-date and get satisfactory outcomes.
这一段WXY同学不仅仅用上了写例子的方法，还融入了对比，是这一段辩证出彩的地方。但是大家也能注意到，WXY同学的语言错误比28分学生的作文多很多，词性、句式、转折词等等都有问题，能看出考生在输出方面还是有点力不从心。
In addition, with the rapid development of globalization people become more open-minded and friends at the same age can better understand each other’s interests and give suitable suggestions. As we all know, the cultural changes and close cooperation among different districts and countries make the trends and the ways of life change quickly and thus, friends who are at the same age know what their friends really want to do and provide more valuable advice. This conventional wisdom is recently confirmed by a credible research conducted by National Sociology Institute and reported in a national newspaper to which I have long been a subscriber. According to the research, people who always turn to friends at the same age when they meet have troubles and need advice outnumber those who depend on their older friends when to make decisions when it comes to landing a lucrative job and leading a happy life. That is to say, absent of advice from friends at the same age, people have a lesser chance of knowing their real interests and get the most suitable suggestions.
此段虽然批改痕迹比上一段少，但是不少需要修改的地方都显示考生语言不够地道自然。而且大家能注意到倒数第二句，WXY同学还是有点hold不住长句子，会出现很多小问题。
辩证方面也有不严谨的地方。例如全球化和年轻人更了解年轻人有什么逻辑关系呢？为什么在主题句用 and 把两者连接起来？
比起 28 分的学生，26分的学生也更依赖模板。例如 “This conventional wisdom is recently confirmed by a credible research conducted by National Sociology Institute and reported in a national newspaper to which I have long been a subscriber.” 这一句除了National Sociology Institute 其他都是模板部分，进一步体现出在英语输出方面能力有限。
To sum up, for most intellectually and mentally mature people, they should ask for advice from their friends at the same age to get the most updated and most suitable suggestions.
语言：26 分的作文虽然语法问题存在，总体上还是不影响读者读懂的。但是相比于28分的学生的从容，26分的学生明显在写作的时候很吃力，这也具体体现在写作速度上。而且，26的作文有更多表达有歧义的地方，放慢了读者的理解，是一个扣分点。
辩证：这篇作文使用了一面倒的写法，第一个观点是现在年轻人因为能使用互联网，所以信息时效性高，第二个观点是现在年轻人更适应全球化时代。总体辩证是没问题的，但在第二主段没有突出全球化为什么让老人家的建议不再有价值，没有具体解释如何界定"suitable"，是该篇作文的另外一个扣分点。
结构：段与段之间和段内的链接都做得很到位，没有大问题。
这是WXY同学考前两周的习作。虽然 WXY同学在职准备托福，仍能坚持每天练托福作文，这是ta能起步写作 21 分成功提分很关键的一点。即使一开始写的速度很慢，一篇独立需要写一个半小时，通过持续练习，最终速度提升到考试30分钟写了470多字，依然是四段式一面倒的结构。WXY同学发挥好的话，独立作文能到达了27的水平，可惜ta的听力能力有限（听力22分），综合写作有些细节没有听出来，所以最终的写作得分26.
